Merry Christmas

We had a wonderful Christmas and hope you did too. Santa brought Ethan a better digital camera than I have and that makes me cry inside. Should make for some interesting pics though. This morning he was taking a picture of the ceiling.

Aunt Angie, the message that you got on your phone a few days back but probably could not understand was Ethan saying thanks for the cool clothes. He wore the jeans and the blue shirt to school one day and when were about to leave for the day, all of the little girls gave Ethan hugs. Coincidence? I think not.

Look What We Did!

TADMB

Every night, thousands of drunk mommies log on to the internet and drunk blog. This is a dangerous epidemic that is sweeping our nation. With your help, we can prevent the agony and embarrassment our mommies feel after they have drunk blogged. Most of all, we can help the innocent blog readers. Please join us. The world needs us. With your help, TADMB can make a difference.

TODDLERS AGAINST DRUNK MOMMY BLOGGING

Puke

I was browsing through some old photos and I found this one. I know, horrible right? Anyhow, it reminded me of a funny story. Okay- we were on the plane headed back to Texas after our wedding in Las Vegas. While we were still on the runway, the chinese guy next to Michael and his wife (sweetest little couple you ever saw) across the aisle pull out the barf bags and stick their mouths in the bags. My thoughts at that point? FUCK, FUCK, FUUUUUCCCCKKKK! If they were already sick, what was the flight going to be like? Well, they BOTH threw up the entire way. THE ENTIRE WAY. Have you seen the scene from Stand By Me? One kid throws up and it makes everyone start throwing up. I was terrified that would happen. It didn't, but these were elderly people from China who had like, ancient Chinese remedies in their bags. The man put some substance on his head that smelled like the stuff the janitor sprinkled on puke in elementary school. That's when this picture was taken. Don't worry, they didn't see, their eyes were in the bags. And, I swear to God, this is true-We were seconds away from our house (driving home from the airport the same day), a car pulls over, a woman leans out and FUCKING PUKES IN THE STREET!

Ethan's cousin Xander- Cuteness!

Buzz Lightyear To The Rescue

Jesus, my parents are weird.

Ethan and mom think it's funny when...

we're driving and someone almosts runs into us and their car is already wrecked in the exact same spot that it would have gotten wrecked if they had hit us. Ethan also thinks it's funny that his Uncle Jason is in jail again, but I think that's just mean.

Angela, DO NOT READ THIS!

We stayed home because we were sick today. We were snuggling on the couch watching Ghostbusters for the second time today and all of the sudden something is projected into the air and lands all over us but mostly on my face. I'm wet, my eyes are stinging and Ethan is crying. Yes, my son vomited on me. Angie, I warned you.

False Advertising

So, I'm sitting up, watching the news and the word is that North Korea tested a nuclear weapon. Me being paranoid and all, I decided to do an internet search for backyard bomb shelters. What comes up as a possible website that sells bomb shelters? TARGET. Yes, THAT Target. So, I head on over to see if I can get a bomb shelter at a discount price and Target doesn't have a single bomb shelter on their site. Losers.

Buttons, Carnies & J. Lo

So, Ethan STILL has a button shirt phobia. He was tired this morning because we went to the Comal County Fair last night, so I thought I would trick him and put a polo shirt on him while he was still sleeping. Well, he didn't really notice until we were 30 seconds away from school. He threw the biggest fit. Tears. Snot. Red polka dots on forehead. Yes, it's the cutest thing, he gets little red dots on his head when he's throwing a good one. Should I get him professional help? I should, right?

Okay, so last year the man operating the little pig ride at the fair was clearly intoxicated and he kept picking his nose the entire time. I mean PICKING, it looked like he was trying to itch his brain. Pick, look, pick, look. Imagine the joy I felt when I saw he was operating another ride this year. He was not drunk yet, so that was good. We went on opening night, so let me tell you what to expect if you go.

• The girl operating the slide is alright, although I'm pretty sure she's been to prison before.
• The a-hole at the ferris wheel is a ummm, yeah, a-hole pretty much sums it up. He hates it when people want to actually get on the ferris wheel. He rolled his eyes everytime he had to let someone on. I'm pretty sure he's been to prison before. Michael is also pretty sure that a bolt fell off the wheel while we were on it.
• The guy operating the pirate thing likes little girls entirly too much. I'm pretty sure he's been to prison before.
• The girl at the maze funhouse gets really irritated when the kids run into the walls. Yeah, she appears to have spent some time in the big house.
• The guy operating the little roller coaster likes to point at his penis each time you pass him on the ride. He was my favorite and he's been there too.

Have you ever thought about what your nickname would be if you did what Jennifer Lopez did? Probably not, but give it a try.

K. Co

Oh yeah, the Olive Garden opened up here finally. I know there are some Olive Garden haters in our lives, but this is fine dining for New Braunfels. We're super excited!

K. Co (It just doesn't really work, does it?)

Ahh... Boners.com

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!

WE LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.

Before,During & After

We had a great time at SeaWorld today. Mom got the most hilarious camera strap sunburn. She makes such a fuss over putting sunscreen on me. What a dork.

The Doctor Is In

If left unsupervised for a minute, some children might go play with matches. My son likes to pretend velcro strips are Band-Aids. I guess that's good. Weird............but good.

My next child will be a boy too. Watch

That's it Ethan, I told you no Star Wars posts. I will shut this mother down! You're supposed to be in bed, the depressing show is still on.

Mom is a SUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I finally convinced her to buy a Star Wars spaceship that turns into Boba Fett. STAR WARS ROCKS!

BUMMER

Ethan is sleeping and I am watching the most depressing show. It's a 20/20 special about the seven deadliest threats to humanity. Probably not good to watch since I am so paranoid, but I can't stop. They are black holes, AI (artificial intelligence, I know, I know, I totally thought they meant American Idol too), super volcanoes, asteroid strikes, nuclear war, disease & climate change. I have to go pray now.

Umm....

This is why my Grandma became a school teacher instead of a professional tree trimmer.

Something You Don't See Everyday